Life lesson, I've-lost-count: Never abandon your post. The meaning behind that can be interpreted however one may desire. It all depends on ones inner values, and that varies in an amount too sublime it's unnerving. One may understand it as their family or work or home; or life itself, most grand. But I have a simple way of painting this picture out. Life has an amusing, and let me add, devious way of knocking you out of your senses when you least expect it. And when the weak succumb, it's lights out. But the few who hold their ground, shine.
My post, is myself. It's visibly in-complex. A little self-indulgent and narrow, but at the end of the day, I watch my own back. I return to myself for everything in life, because as much as trust gets thrown around, you're a fool to give into that whole heartedly. The life I have lived up until this point, I have to say was an immensity of trials and tribulations. But that knocked me around and shaped me up into who I am as a person now. And its safe to say i'm un-ashamed and not regretful.
Currently, situations have tested my waters way past it's limits, to degrees where I felt my legs buckling. Where with one final swift of a motion my legs would give out and I'm left on my knees...but I avoid getting myself to that final stage. Because with the wavering knees, I just stand up a little bit straighter and let my backbone take all the weight. I stand my ground and never lose touch of my morals, my desires, and my dignity. The strength I have for myself is something I surprise myself with everyday. And to show myself defeat and to cower (mind you is quite commendable on it's own) is one thing I won't do to myself, because to have pride in myself is not an egotistical stroke, but a drive. A force that can't be touched but watched.
In the sense of love, I put my love for another above myself...because why not? My confidence in myself is enough to let myself go. And to lose myself in the thick of it all, but to have a tight grasp of one self is what's keeping me afloat. Having perfected the balance of love is like my ability on a skateboard. Perfection is lacking, but I'm good. I'm still in need of practice and refinery, but I'm getting there. Love is a tricky business, but to love yourself first is the actual trick of the trade. Because if you don't love yourself then what's there to love?
My post is a shining beacon to myself that I'm where I have to be. One goes through a lot of darkness to get to that light and I'm beaming with that shine.
“I have nothing now but praise for my life...”
― Maurice Sendak, Where the Wild Things Are
